Do you have an interview, but not the skills do well in that interview? Well, you've come to the right place. Learn the dos and don'ts of interviewing so you can make an impression and get that job!
1. Behave like a pretentious ass. This will show your leadership skills off nicely. You may even be promoted to CEO instantly.
2. Come with gifts/large sums of money. It's not bribery if you call it a present.
|This look is perfect for|
the office. Not too much
skin is showing. Very
classy. You'll totally nail
3. Look classy.
4. When they ask you how you would perform day to day operations, tell them you would do things "like a boss."
5. When they ask you what your most negative quality is, tell them it's your "need to be perfect" or that you're a "workaholic." Just be careful not to confuse workaholic with alcoholic.
6. Beg for the job. Tell them the sad story about your mom in the hospital and your kids having to fight children on the street for breadcrumbs. Even if it isn't true, tell them anyways. People love stories.
7. Use big words. It will make you sound intelligent. Don't know what ubiquitous means? Neither will they.
8. Speak in a British accent.
9. Talk about your achievements. Don't have any? Make them up. Remember when you recently won the [insert random letters and pretend they stand for an important organization's name] Most Awesomest Person of the Century? Sure you do.
|You look like a hooker. |
What were you thinking?
1. Don't prepare for the interview.
2. Don't tell the truth. Honesty isn't the best policy.
3. Don't wear yellow.
4. Don't act respectfully. You need to establish yourself as the alpha dog, and not the pussy cat.
5. Don't dress slutty.
6. Don't listen to what the person interviewing you is saying. It doesn't matter what they ask. It just matters how you answer.