Thursday, August 18, 2011

How to Seduce Any Woman

Imagination Station:

Sterling Rambo here.  That's right ladies and gentlemen, I'm back.  It's been awhile because I was busy doing manly things on an uber manly man adventure in the manly town known as San Francisco.  As a man, I feel it is my manly duty to illustrate my man powers to bagging any chick.  And by bagging, I mean getting romantically involved, not literally putting a bag on a woman.  That's never acceptable, unless if she's ugly.

Here are some sure fire tips to seduce any woman:

1. Be a man, a well groomed man.  Chicks dig the facial hair, if it's done right.

  This is a questionable choice of facial hair.  And that was an incredibly manly and punny choice of words.

2. Roofies.  You'll have her head over heels.

3. Play a Barry White song.

 4. Or be Barry White. 

5. Be incredibly rich.  Make it rain dollar bills.  Or, if you're a high-roller, make it rain quarters.  She'll be weak in the knees when she hears those quarters hit the ground.

6. Write her a poem or google one.


Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're so hot
As am I too
So let's make babies

7.  Learn to speak as if you were an English gentleman with a gentlmanly air about your manliness, to which she shall not be able to resist.

8.  Enhance your manly odor.  Bathing in cologne is necessary.

Go forth you manly men and swoon all the ladies.  Make Papa Sterling proud.