No Presents For You

Reality:

Oh, it’s that time of year again. Yep, Christmas, which means it’s a time of giving, but more importantly, receiving. There are only a few days until Christmas, and you have to buy some stuff still, so, I’m here to help. Here are reasons why you shouldn’t buy any presents this year:


1. You’re a selfish prick.

2. You’re a cheap ass.

3. You’re lazy, and why bother going to the store when you can sit on the couch.

4. Santa Claus. You buying gifts puts him out of business. How will he feed Mrs. Claus and the elves and the reindeers?

5. Any Christmas gift has a cost attached, even if it was that free bar of chocolate you got at Costco. You have to wrap it, and that takes money and time.

6. Why waste money on others when you can waste money on yourself?

7. You give a gift everyday—the gift of your presence.

8. Other people will buy them things.

9. Re-gifting, minus the wrapping paper. Now that’s a gift that’s free.